Deborah OConnor December 9, 2013

The holidays are here. Everyone is in a good mood, happiness and kindness abound, ‘tis the season to be merry. Wrong! In reality, apprehension and panic seem to be the rule. People tend to rush, lose their tempers, and are on the edge of panic. Couples argue more during the holidays. The pressure to get all your shopping done, mail out holiday cards, attend holiday parties, decorate your home, be prepared for visiting relatives—no wonder we’re in a panic. There is just so much to do and so little time to accomplish everything. And added to this are the everyday normal things, such as getting kids to school, getting to work on time, doctor’s appointments, picking up children from daycare, sports and music lessons. The list goes on. Here is a list of the top faux pas.

• Aggressive drivers. Due to shopping, traffic increases considerably and normal everyday defensive drivers turn into crazed maniacs. The roads are over-crowded and tempers flair. And in much of the country, inclement weather can make driving downright dangerous.
• Financial woes. There is a lot of pressure to spend more during the holiday season than any other time of the year. People go into debt and often find themselves in trouble financially in the new year.
• Holiday parties. People tend to drink more and manners seem to disappear. Double-dipping crackers and chips into dips and coughing and sneezing without covering your mouth lead to more coughs and colds.
• Depression abounds. There is no doubt that depression is at an all-time high during the holidays. The stress and strain of it all puts many people into a funk that is hard to dispel.
• Shopping. There is an increase in rudeness to salespeople. Everyone wants to be helped and there are never enough workers to go around. People have meltdowns and shove, push, and curse to get what they want. Common decency seems to have disappeared and the norm is shrill, rude behavior.
• Visiting relatives. It seemed like such a good idea to invite your eight relatives to stay with you and your family for a week. Around day two tempers start to flair, quarters seem to shrink, and conditions are soon claustrophobic. When the weather is cold, snowy and rainy you can be cooped up together for days.
• Traveling. For some reason, traveling is quite difficult during the holidays. Large crowds, cancelled flights, sleeping in an airport, lack of privacy, whiny children, bad tempers, and a bah-humbug attitude add to the misery.
• Dining out. Restaurants are over-crowded during the holidays. Staff is over-worked, space is limited, bad service seems to be the norm, and that happy, merry feeling is rare. Kids can be noisy and out-of-control and diners seem to think this is a good time to be on their phones, talking loudly and in general bothering other patrons.

How do we bring the merry back to the holidays? There are things you can do to make things easier and more pleasant.

• Limit traveling and visitors. Take turns going to each other every other year. You just traveled over Thanksgiving and don’t need the stress of going again so soon.
• Don’t cook a huge holiday meal that you know will stress you out. Have visitors bring dishes and consider preparing simple dishes.
• Control your spending. Be frugal and enjoy the simple things. Remember, small children have taught us that the box is oftentimes more fun than the gift.
• Organization is a must. Use your time wisely. Shop online when possible and get free shipping at most sites and avoid the crowds. Make a list of all you need to accomplish and create a budget and stick to it. Prioritize and categorize your shopping. There are deals and coupons everywhere so take advantage of them. The Sunday paper is a good source of sales and coupons.

Hurry up by slowing down in this rushed and over-worked season. Bring back kindness, patience, and humanity and the true reason of the holiday season and remember the importance of family and friends.

Please feel free to send questions to Deborah at: www.successfulimage.biz.
She will answer them in her weekly column.


Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offers training and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, and social skills necessary to succeed in life professionally and personally. Contact at:  [email protected]        www.successfulimage.biz