Deborah OConnor June 17, 2013

Last week I was teachingetiquette to a group and was asked the question, “Why do we needetiquette anyway, and how did it start?” Here is a brief history ofetiquette and why it is essential to our lives today.

Asprehistoric people began to interact with one another, they learned tobehave in ways that made life easier and more pleasant. Manners had apractical purpose. Then early civilizations developed rules for propersocial conduct.

Much of today’s formal etiquette originated inthe French royal court during the 1600-1700’s. The nobles who lived atcourt did not work, and so they developed elaborate social customsmostly to avoid becoming bored. The nobles drew up a list of propersocial behavior and called it an etiquette. This word came from an oldFrench word meaning ticket. This code of behavior soon spread to otherEuropean courts and eventually was adopted by the upper classesthroughout the Western world.

 

From the 1500’sthrough the early 1900’s, children learned etiquette at school. Children were advised on such points as the proper way of kneeling before theirteachers, the value of remaining silent until spoken to, and using adinner knife as a toothpick!

Over the years, people were expected to follow an increasingly complicated set of rules. Many of the rulesseem silly today. In Western countries in the 1800’s, a young man couldnot speak to a young woman he knew until she had first acknowledged him. Little girls curtsied and little boys bowed when introduced to someone. Not many years ago, when a young man and a young woman went out on adate, she was expected to sit quietly in the car while he walked aroundit to open her door and help her out. Some still adhere to this verypolite and charming custom.

Since the 1960’s, manners have become much more relaxed. Etiquette today is based on treating everyone withthe same degree of kindness and consideration, and it consists mostly of common sense. It is helpful to know some rules about how to behave incertain situations, only because this makes life more comfortable foryou and makes you more self-confident in social situations.

Theimportance of manners and etiquette in today’s society can never beoveremphasized. Many people think that manners are less important intoday’s busy, fast-paced world because there just isn’t time for it. Inour modern world, how you treat others and your actions, manners andetiquette, definitely affect how people view you.

When you canaffect how people think of you, you can use this persuasion andinfluence to improve many aspects of your life. What you say and how you act is who you are. This should make you realize the power of mannersand etiquette and how you could use it to your benefit.

You maythink that etiquette is just a list of things to do or not to do so that you look prim and proper. You need to change this perception andrealize how important the influence of etiquette can be. It will helpyou become someone people admire and are attracted to. Etiquette canhelp you in most every circumstance in your personal and business life.It makes you stand out and gives you self-confidence, and people aredrawn to this. When you are kind to others and show proper manners andetiquette, people want to be around you because you make them feel goodabout themselves. Everyone likes to be treated with respect andkindness. In many ways, etiquette gives you power and influence. You are always prepared to make a good impression at any time and this impactsthose around you. Remember, etiquette is not just a bunch of senselessrules; it is a way of life.

Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offerstraining and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, andsocial skills necessary to succeed in life professionally andpersonally. Contact at:   [email protected]        www.successfulimage.biz