The 3 ‘P’s that prevent us from personal development

October 6, 2017

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By Brian Maynor


Personal development is a journey that is filled with stepping stones, some positive and some challenging, but it’s how we deal with them that result in our growth.

Every day we have opportunities to grow and develop into better versions of ourselves.  While some are obvious others are not; buried in the mundane day-to-day routines and experiences.
When it comes to stepping stones that we may have tripped over, psychologists agree there are three common ‘P’s that block our progress in letting go, moving forward and growing.  See if they ring true for you, and if these tips help you over come them the next time you have a setback or stumble:

1.   Personalization.  When something doesn’t go according to plan, the first thing we tend to do is blame ourselves.  “It’s my fault.”  “What did I do to wrong?”  “How did I let that happen?”  While it’s natural to internalize and personalize fault, we have to stop.  In reality, there are very few things that happen unilaterally or in isolation.  The next time you find yourself assuming the blame, talk to a friend.  Gaining an outside perspective can help alleviate the undue burden of sole responsibility.

2.    Pervasiveness.  When we experience a setback in one area of our life it is second nature to let that frustration permeate every other area.  We start seeing only the bad everywhere.  One way to stop this domino effect is by seeking out and acknowledging even the smallest of successes and accomplishments.  This boosts our resilience and stops the chain reaction of negativity that is often self-fulfilling.

3.    Permanence.  “It will never get better.”  This is such a common feeling, especially when we’re in the middle of a melt down, and we always believe it.  We forget that we’ve been here before.  Every setback seems permanent, but they never are.  The next time we have this feeling, think of a previous setback that ruined everything.  We’ve all struggled before and made it through, and remembering those times will give us strength and perspective to realize we will get through this moment too.

4.    Embrace these ‘P’s.  It may seem a lot like running into the fire, but that’s kind of what we have to do if we want to get through rough times quicker and come away from them stronger.  If we avoid them, bury them, or otherwise try to sidestep feeling them, we only prolong the process.

Personal growth and development often come from struggles, setbacks and disappointment, but we are in complete control of the process.  The question is are we going to pick ourselves up quickly or prolong the suffering.

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About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit


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