True romance

By Jeff Becraft

 

It has been a while since I’ve talked about my prowess on the ski slopes… so I figured it’s about time.

I am a person when I go skiing that I can’t turn or stop. In fact, I think the only reason I really turn is that it’s do or die… if I don’t turn, I am going into the woods, and so I had better turn. And I can’t really explain to you how I did it…. it just kind of happens.

I am sure that the ski patrol keeps an eye on me and they probably have a GPS on me so they can keep track of where I am on the mountain at all times. I have run over more than one person in my life. In fact, if you have a group of snowboarders that are just sitting there on the slope and they are blocking traffic, well, just send the Kid on in there. Now I can’t really pinpoint who I’m going to run over; it’s more like I’m just a human snow cat… but they’ll be spraying everywhere like bowling pins.

I do know this much about skiing – it’s no fun to ski on ice. I have skied on ice before, and it is not a pretty sight.

I also know this – ski slopes need a base. And you know what that base is made of? You got it – ice. It’s no fun to ski on that ice… but it is the snow on top of the ice, the powder, the loose snow… that is what makes skiing fun.

But here’s the problem, if you don’t have a base and all you got is the loose snow, after a few runs down the course, you’re starting to see grass and dirt and mud,

And that is not any fun either.

So you really need both. And the way this correlates into life is consider the base as commitment. If all you have is commitment, then that can get very dull and just get very routine. The snow on top, the loose snow, the powder, that’s romance. That is what makes a relationship interesting and intriguing.

My definition of romance is this: doing something special in a special way to make someone else feel special.

So obviously, today is Valentine’s Day, and I want to encourage us to look at both of those things that are needed for a great day of skiing.

You need the base, the commitment. Relationships without commitment are just like skiing on just loose snow. When there’s no base, it may last for a while, and it may be great for a while, but it’s not going to take long until all the problems start to show up and that relationship can end. Back in high school, my friends called me the hopeless romantic and every relationship I pursued with a girl was simply based on romance.

None of those relationships lasted.

So for married people, I would encourage you, stick to your commitment, live by your vows, and remember – it’s no fun just to ski on ice. Make sure you are proactively dedicating yourselves to romance in your marriage as well.

And for those that are not married, television and movies and everything else may say the ticket is through romance… and that is why there is so much heartache and brokenness in the world today. Romantic feelings can come and go. Long lasting relationships are really built on commitment and choosing to love one another on a daily basis… whether you feel like it or not. That is the base. It sets the romance up to be true romance.

 

Jeff Becraft is the Director of Our Place of Hope and the Director Emeritus for Youth Corps and has dedicated much of his life to helping shift the vision of people’s lives. Our Place of Hope is a paradigm shift for people living with mental illness that encourages them to regain meaning, purpose, and hope for their lives. You can connect with Jeff at  jbecraft4TN@gmail.com.