You’ve Got to be a Friend to Have a Friend

By Reba Hull Campbell

Every year, I dust off this “first day of first grade” photo taken in front of then-Crayton Elementary School. It makes me thankful for these girls and the many other friends who have accompanied me, loved me and showed up for me along the way.

One of my mother’s favorite sayings is “you have to be a friend to have a friend.” From these girls – and their mothers – I learned early on how to be a friend. We learned how to share and trust. We learned how to be a friend to each other’s friends. We learned how to navigate the presence (and sometimes annoyances) of older and younger siblings.

These five little girls became friends as very young children primarily because of proximity living in the same neighborhood. Our mothers were friends, too, because of proximity, church and family connections. I’ll always be grateful to our moms for the playgroups, carpools, spend-the-night adventures, birthday parties, watchful eyes and family trips that we probably completely took for granted.

By the time these five little girls reached this this first day of school milestone we’d known each other the better part of our short 6-year-old lives. I moved to Virginia for the second grade before returning the next year. The five of us split between three schools in the fifth grade, and one skipped sixth grade and graduated high school early. The remaining four of us walked across the high school graduation stage together at Hammond. Two went to UNC and two went to USC. Over the years, all of us made lots of other friends who also became part of our individual and collective circles and stories.

Because of these girls (and their moms), I eventually got over my fear of spending the night out. During summers, we traded handwritten letters from family trips and camp (and yes, I still have lots of those letters). We’ve married each other off and cheered on each other’s kids, many of whom have married and now have their own kids (or ones on the way). We’ve lived around the world and stayed right here in Columbia.

I don’t take for granted how lucky we are to have known each other for 55+ years. Even more though, I know how fortunate we are to have grown lots of other rich and wide circles of overlapping and interconnected friendships because of these very early years together.

In today’s world, we’re not in each other’s lives daily. I can’t even remember the last time all five of us were in the same place at the same time (probably the 2003 “re-enactment” photo taken the day before the original Crayton buildings were demolished). But I do know we share the gift of these early friendships that taught us so well.

Today, I count my blessings of many friendships and overlapping friend circles who are daily gifts and delights in my life.

Reba Hull Campbell is president of The Medway Group. She is passionate about travel; writing; learning to play the uke, guitar and keyboard; and staying connected with old friends. Reba can be reached at [email protected], @rebahcampbell on Instagram and Twitter.