Where the Orange Blossoms Grow

By Amy Coward

“I want to wake up in the morning where the orange blossoms grow…” So goes my childhood song that I sing every time I cross the Florida state line on my trips home. I’m a Florida girl at heart and I love to return there every chance I get. Especially at Thanksgiving.

We have a huge family gathering at Thanksgiving at the family homestead where my mother and her sisters and brother grew up. About 50-60 of us return each year to eat ourselves silly and cruise on the lake in a pontoon boat. It’s pretty fabulous.

But we all know the real fun in these holiday get-togethers are the family characters. You know what I’m talking about. And don’t act like your family doesn’t have a nut or two.

Now don’t get me wrong. Our family members are good people. They would help you out in a pinch. But you have to brace yourself for the inevitable when you see them. We have the aunt who brags all day about how perfect her children are. They have the newest homes, the cutest babies, the most degrees, the shiniest cars. We seldom see these perfect children but should they ever attend, we would have to cower in the corner due to our inferiority.

Then there’s the cousin who’s always selling the latest multi-level marketing (a.k.a. pyramid scheme) product. I’ve been approached to buy a cellular phone system, vitamins, make-up and cleaning products – all sure to make me rich and healthy/clean/beautiful. If only I had two extra nickels to rub together, I’d buy in for sure, I tell them.

The food hoarders are also there. They arrive with family in tow with one small bowl of English peas and pile their plates high – twice. Then before they leave, they pull out their ziplock bags and pack them full of leftovers “so they can have a sandwich later.”

It’s all pretty amusing. And deep down, we know it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without them. In fact, they’re probably saying similar things about us like we’re the crazy ones! Humph. Could that possibly be true? Could I be the crazy aunt they talk about? Do I talk too much? Laugh too much? Eat too much? Maybe.

So I guess we’ll keep putting up with each other. We’ll gather each Thanksgiving and share war stories of vacations with Grandma. We’ll eat too much and watch football. We’ll look through mountains of photo albums. We’ll try not to talk politics. We’ll hug at the end of the day and say, “we should do this more often.”

Then I’ll get in my car and drive north again singing “so I’ll make my home in Florida, where the orange blossoms grow” knowing that home is where the heart is. And the crazy relatives.

Amy Coward is a public relations professional in Columbia, SC. When she is not managing the madness of event planning at Palmetto Health Foundation, she is turning her empty nest upside down looking for fun and finding it. 

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