Deborah OConnor July 23, 2013

Recently, I was a house guest and thought it a good time to reiterate the responsibilities and obligations of the guest. Remember, you are a guest in someone else’s home and etiquette and common sense must prevail.

• It is your responsibility to maintain your accommodations and take care not to scatter your belongings all over the house. Keep things as neat and tidy as possible.
• Unless there is a maid in the house, guests need to make their bed every morning, until the day of departure. On that day, strip the bed and leave all dirty linens in a neat pile or put them in the laundry room.
• Be sure to remove private toiletries from the bathroom after each use unless it is your private bathroom.
• Don’t ask the hosts to change their schedule for you. You need to accommodate them as much as possible.
• At mealtime, always ask whether you can help in the kitchen with food preparation and cleaning up.
• If you break something, tell your host right away and offer to fix or replace it. Be sure to follow up.
• If you smoke and are visiting a non-smoker, do not smoke in your guest’s home.
• While it is courteous to allow out-of-town guests to sleep in, don’t take advantage of the situation. Be mindful of your hosts and their schedule.
• Don’t assume because you are the guest that you have the run of the house.
• Don’t hog the television or rummage through the refrigerator unless your host
• has told you to make yourself at home. Even so, be conscious that it is not your home.
• Guests should be informed about alarms, keys to the house, fire extinguishers, etc. If these issues aren’t brought up, you have every right to inquire about them. Know where exits are in case of an emergency.
• In this day of modern technology, most people have a mobile phone and the ability to access the Internet. Do bring your computer with you if you are going to be needing it, as most people don’t like to let others use their computer. However, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for the code to access wi-fi for your devices.
• House guests enjoying the hospitality of their hosts should bring a gift with them for the host or hostess. This can be anything from a bottle of good wine to a coffee table book or something you know the host collects. It is also acceptable to wait until after your stay to send a gift and a thank-you note. I have a friend who was a house guest at a fraternity brother’s home and he noticed that the school flag he was flying was quite tattered and worn. Imagine his friend’s surprise and delight when a brand-new school flag arrived in the mail with a nice thank-you note.
• It is also a very nice gesture to take your host and hostess out to dinner one night you are there.
• It is a lovely Southern tradition for the host to present parting guests with a small gift. This is known as a lagniappe. It can be anything from a small book or a momento of  your stay. It is up to the discretion of the host.
• Always have firm arrival and departure times if possible. Benjamin Franklin was quite right when he said that fish and house guests begin to smell after 3 days.

Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offers training and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, and social skillsnecessary to succeed in life professionally and personally. Contactat:  [email protected]        www.successfulimage.biz