How to be realistic optimistic

By Brian Maynor

 

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.” – Dalai Lama XIV

I’m proud to be an optimist.  As a motivational coach it certainly helps me do my job, but sometimes I can’t escape the feeling that I’m being naïve or simply foolish, or that others are seeing me that way.

Being optimistic is often misconstrued as being blindly gullible, believing life and success should flow easily, and that everything will work out in the end with little to no help from us.  Let’s be clear, not only are those statements false they can be very dangerous to our success and happiness.

Having a positive and hopeful mindset is a big key to success, but it’s important to know success isn’t something that happens “to” us.  It doesn’t matter if we’re an optimist or a pessimist.  Success doesn’t just fall into our laps.  We all have to work for it.

Understanding that reality, here are a few tips on how to become a more realistic optimist:

1.   Accept that there will be bumps in the road. This may sound pessimistic, but it’s not.  An optimist can, and should, recognize and accept that there will be struggles, setbacks and challenges along the way.  In fact, accepting it actually makes us more likely to succeed, because we know it will only happen with hard work.  That small understanding forces us to take action, one way or another.

2.    There is a difference between being optimistic and being naïve. It’s easy to think any kind of recognition or time spent on issues is a pessimistic way of looking at things, but to ignore them would not help resolve or overcome them.  Problem-solving isn’t pessimistic.  It’s realistic, and crucial for any chance of success.  Burying our head in the sand just to preserve some idea of ignorant bliss only guarantees failure.

3.    Reinterpret our vision for success. A lot of motivational coaches, self-help books, proverbs and inspiration boards tend to focus on the end result, success and over look the very real and necessary steps it takes to get there.  So instead of always focusing on being successful and wishing, hoping and waiting for it to happen, visualize the steps it’s going to take to become successful.  This little shift changes our pattern of thinking from a passive one to an active one and gives us direction and a plan.

There is nothing wrong with being an optimist, as long as it’s a realistic one.  Spending time thinking about what could go wrong, feeling sorry for ourselves and the hand we were dealt, and expecting the worse to happen to us is only a waste of time and energy.  Nothing productive ever comes from it.  Instead, accept the challenges, hardships and difficulties and put thought, effort and energy into the steps it’s going to take to overcome them.  That’s what being a realistic optimist is all about.

 

 

I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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