Are We There Yet? Part Two

By Leigh Thomas

 

 

The Thomas Traveling Circus has been at it again, this time Disney-style.

Last week we drove down to Orlando for four amazing days at the Happiest Place on Earth, or as I like to think of it, The Land of Overconsumption. Make no mistake – a fabulous time was had by all. I just think that Frozen’s “Let it Go” really must be Disney’s message to parents about their wallets.

We left the day after Halloween. The drive down went a little something like this:
Sure, you can snack on Halloween candy in the car. We’re going to Disney.

Go ahead and watch movie after movie until your eyes cross and your brains rot. It’s Disney!

Oh, I just told you we were only the length of an episode of Sofia the First away from Disney and here we are on I-4 an hour later because traffic sucks. Here, have some more candy. We’re going to Disney!
I think this strategy resulted in an amazingly smooth trip, with no Starbucks detours and very few are-we-there-yets (see Are We There Yet? Part One).

Disney really wants you to buy in to this Happiest Place on Earth concept. And by “buy,” I mean make your wallet bleed. With an ice cream stand, Dole Whip cart and souvenir kiosk at every turn, they practically dare you to say no. So, mom and dad, what’s it gonna be? Buy this $5 ice cream, which is $5 because it happens to have the form of three conveniently-placed circles? Or, want to test the waters and wait out a 35-minute line to see the story of Pooh from a gigantic honey pot with two kids screaming like banshees?

Yeah, I bought the ice cream. I also bought $6 beers and one very tasty $16.25 Animal Kingdom mojito. It was worth it.
The Happiest Place on Earth comes with a crier in every line, groups walking five-people wide (think the mall) and a family conference in the middle of every sidewalk. Add to that a cast member who finally caved and told me I had zero chance of scoring a Fastpass to get my sweet boy into Toy Story Midway Mania, plus a Green Army Man who thought it was a good idea to stomp at and scare the beejeezus out of my four-year-old daughter, and that mojito was necessary.

 

 >Green Army Man with the child he didn’t traumatize.

 

Ironically, no alcohol is covered under the “Magic Your Way Plus Dining” plan, because Disney knows darn well that poor suckers like us will pay any price for it during our 12-hour treks through Hollywood Studios and the Animal Kingdom. No alcohol is sold in the Magic Kingdom. Probably a smart idea, but Disney could give every Mickey, Goofy and Donald a raise and free health insurance if they changed that little policy.

I’m now in Disney junk food detox and trying to reestablish rules in our house – you know, the ones about needing to show up for school and work and no candy for breakfast.

So … the moral of the story here is to give me a mojito and I can overlook almost anything. I’m kidding. Disney itself makes it easy to overlook the crowds, the lines, other kids who aren’t as well behaved as mine … things that come with a trip to any amusement park, really. The adjective “magical” is not an exaggeration. To my four- and seven-year-old, it truly was the Happiest Place on Earth. And I’m thankful that the criers were not mine, and that we made memories that will last a lifetime. And, it was kind of nice not saying “no” for a few days. After all … it was Disney.

 

 

Leigh Thomas is a Columbia-area wife, mom of two, runner and communications professional. Because that affords her so much spare time, she also pursues freelance writing and editing. Visit her blog at literalleigh.blogspot.com. 

 

 

 

Sign up here to start your free subscription to MidlandsLife!