Dating Advice: Dear Debby and Jerry
May 31, 2013
Advice from Debby and Jerry on Dating in a New World
May 31, 2013
Q-Dear Debby and Jerry,
I am not interested in on-line dating, as I am happily married. However, I have a number of friends who have met people through on-line dating, some who have eventually married. Is it just my imagination, but what are the statistics of relationships started by on-line dating as it seems like I hear more and more about this way of meeting someone that results in long-term relationships?
Elizabeth, Lexington, SC
A-Dear Elizabeth,
Yes, it seems like most people can reference a friend or family member who knows someone that has been successful on on-line dating and some statistics show that 16% of relationships formed are connected to it.
We did some research and online dating experts say there’s no statistical research that suggests the success rate for online marriages is any different from that of conventional matchmaking. However, when you’re advertising a service that promotes marriage as the only indicator of success, it does encourage people to reach for that. It’s definitely more important for couples to get to know each other before rushing to the altar.Many sites are working actively to prevent divorces before they even happen. Mary.com, for example, provides its users with personality and compatibility tests to determine if a couple has the potential to make it over the long haul. In 2006, eHarmony launched eHarmony Marriage, a separate website it calls an online alternative to marriage counseling. Newlyweds can take part in a 12-session marriage program created by a team of in-house psychologists. Match.com now has MindFindBind, a program developed with Phil McGraw of the syndicated daytime talk show Dr. Phil. According to the web site, the program helps people find success in the relationships they value.
So are divorce rates of couples who meet online higher than the national average? It’s really too early to tell and we still need time to judge and to see if that statistic will be true or not.
Debby and Jerry
Q-Dear Debby and Jerry,
I met a woman from one of the Internet dating sites who I find very attractive and interesting, even though we have dated only three times. On the third date she told me of having a physical problem that will become progressively worse. I do not want to sound shallow, but before I might possibly fall in love with her, I feel that I should end the relationship before dating anymore. How do I best do this without hurting her feelings?
Ray, Irmo, SC
A-Dear Ray,
You are wise to consider all aspects of a relationship in the early stages of discovery. Using and reading on-line dating profiles does not offer all the information necessary to make a decision. Based on your question, it does not appear you wish to be a caretaker later in the relationship should the person become drastically ill or debilitated. Even though you might feel shallow, it is best to simply tell this person how much you have enjoyed meeting her, but the relationship is just not a good fit. We must believe you are wise enough to know that should you not end the relationship you might find deep caring during hard times has its own rewards, as well.
Debby and Jerry
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