Thanksgiving 2015

I wrote this essay on Thanksgiving morning after the flood of 2015.

I know my mother is going to make us go around the room and tell what we’re thankful for before we eat our Thanksgiving lunch. I will probably take the easy route and say something lighthearted like, “I’m glad I didn’t have to cook this year since I don’t have a kitchen” or “I’m glad for FEMA and flood insurance” or “I’m glad Aunt Jenny made macaroni and cheese.” Those are all true statements.

Those are my superficial answers. But I have been giving much thought to what I am most thankful for this year, and it is simply my attitude.

I’m thankful that I can continue to be thankful.

I’m thankful that despite all the chaos in my life I can still wake up and come up with a list of a hundred things I appreciate.

I’m thankful that somewhere along the way I learned that the only thing I can control is my attitude.

Many, many years ago I was going through a difficult time, and every night I would pray the same prayer, “Lord, please don’t let this make me bitter.” Every night the same prayer. “Keep my heart open. Keep my spirit positive. Please don’t let this make me bitter.” God’s answer to my prayer was, “Hey! You don’t need ME for that one. You can do that for yourself. Just make a decision. Make up your mind to control your attitude. It’s YOUR attitude. It’s YOUR heart.”

Choosing my attitude-sour or sweet- didn’t have to be an act of God. I could make a decision. Every day I could focus on what made me sad or focus on what made me happy. I could choose anxiety or I could choose peace. I could fill my heart with resentment or appreciation.

So on this Thanksgiving Day, I’m thankful that I have Diet Coke in the cooler, even though the cooler sits in the middle of a construction site that used to be my den. I’m thankful for the men at Jeffers McGill who helped me order all my appliances via text on my 20-minute lunch break. I’m thankful for the cute sweater Melissa Szymanski gave me. I’m thankful that somebody found and washed Bruzer’s favorite toy, Mr. Squeakers. I’m thankful that I have the day off tomorrow. I could fill a page quickly. I am truly thankful for all of these things.

But most of all, I am thankful that my heart and spirit are still open and can still see the good that is in my life. Even as I step over the pile of demo debris on the front porch and squeeze through the old appliances that are still on my back porch, I try to find some good. Even in the mess that is my life, I try to tell myself that “This, too, shall pass.”

This year, more than ever, I’m thankful that my heart is still full of thanksgiving.

That’s too much to say as I hold hands with a cousin or an aunt or an uncle. Nobody wants to hear all that as we stand around my mother’s table. That’s too much to say before we are allowed to eat, but that is my true answer to my mother’s annual question.

What am I most thankful for this year? I’m thankful that I can be thankful.

Tammy Davis is a freelance writer in SC. Visit her website at www.tammydavisstories.com.