Dating Advice: Dear Debby and Jerry
October 25, 2013
October 25, 2013
Dear Debbie and Jerry,
I have met some very attractive ladies through Internet dating and am enjoying it immensely. I enjoy dating a few ladies at a time and getting to know each one. The majority of women think this is unacceptable behavior and I feel uncomfortable. I want to be honest, but it seems to get me in hot water more often than not. Any suggestions on how to handle this particular situation?
– Lucky Dave, Rock Hill, SC
Dear Lucky Dave,
If getting to know each one means that you are not available for a long term relationship, then this fact will surface rather quickly in the first few dates. By your own innuendo or, most probable, you will be asked in a direct way from whomever shows interest in you. Multiple dating might be appealing to some women who may be just looking for a friend. However, most women on Internet dating are interested in a relationship that has a meaningful, durable outcome. Though you may not be a player, it is going to be difficult to convince most women you are not. Yes, you are pouring your own hot water, but I admire your honesty.
– Jerry
Dear Lucky Dave,
Women really are looking for a meaningful relationship and you will not be too popular with those women. But you must be true to yourself and if you want to date multiple women at one time, good luck to you. Just don’t expect to be inundated with those who are looking for more.
– Debby
Dear Debby and Jerry,
I have been Internet dating for about a year now and just can’t seem to meet the man of my dreams. I am quite discouraged and just don’t know what to do. I am attractive, financially self-sufficient, intelligent, and have been told that I am fun. Is this common for online dating? Does it take years to meet Mr. Right? I’m tired of going on dates that don’t go anywhere. Any encouraging words form you two?
– Maggie, Charleston, SC
Dear Maggie,
The old adage Good things are worth waiting for definitely pertains to online dating. Be patient, take a break if need be, but don’t give up. You will meet that special someone and it will be worth all the bad dates, discouraging encounters, and endless waiting. You sound like a great person and you will be glad that you didn’t give up.
– Debby
Dear Maggie,
Unfortunately, there is a bit of fantasy involved in Internet dating. Too often, both men and women subscribing to internet dating project qualities and attributes to others that are unrealistic when reading profiles, exchanging emails, talking on the phone, having the first date, etc. That said, you will be far less happy if you settle for someone that does not come closest to your dreams. From a broader view, one year is not very long in meeting men on Internet dating. However, you have very good prospects in being patient. The statistics are in your favor by continuing to date!
– Jerry
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Share your questions or stories by sending an email to: [email protected]. Or mail your questions and comments to: Dear Debby and Jerry, 701 Gervais Street, Suite 150-197, Columbia, SC 29201. They will answer them anonymously in next week’s column.
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