To Keep or To Give

By Amy Coward

I can’t get rid of this bowl. I really don’t know why I’m so attached to it. It’s not very pretty – beige, plastic, divided down the middle. My mom used to serve vegetables in it, so it was on the table often when I was growing up. I’ve had it for years and have never used it.

My cabinets are full of things like this. Some are family heirlooms and some just mementos of my childhood. Like the crystal wine goblets with gold trim. They’re lovely. I’ve used them once. Or the brown China dishes with wheat bundles on them. I use them at Christmas. I have cabinets full of knick-knacks, dishes, crystal, and vases – most of them collecting dust and never used.

I was out of town recently and visited an antique store, probably more accurately described as a thrift store. Nothing much of value inside – except for crystal and China. I looked at the items and wondered how many family dinners they had been a part of. I wondered if they were passed down from one generation to the next, sisters arguing over who should get them. But here they were in a thrift store, collecting dust, hoping a new owner would take them home and include them in a family holiday.

I have all these things that were given to me by my mother and my husband’s mother. Beautiful things that meant so much to them, some of which mean something to me. But to my daughters and son? They mean very little. My children are just not all that sentimental about such things and China and crystal aren’t very popular it seems.

The same goes for all the souvenirs I have from my travels. I’ve been fortunate enough to travel to 6 countries (so far) and have always brought back something beautiful to remember the trip by. Nothing of great value, just interesting or pretty. I enjoy looking at these things on the shelves throughout my house, but I’m fully aware they have no meaning to anyone else.

When I am no longer here, I am quite sure my children will have a thrift store truck backed up to my front door which will simply be loaded with all my treasured belongings. Sure, the kids might take an item or two, but for the most part, it will be hauled off and placed on the shelves of a store. Someone will walk by and wonder, like I did, about the family that enjoyed them and the memories that were made.

I’ve been advised to take some time and get rid of some of these items now so my children will not be bothered when I’m gone. But frankly, I don’t like that idea. I like to see the China and crystal in my cabinet. I like to put out certain items during holidays and reminisce. I know it would be helpful, but since I can’t quite part with them, I’m going to let my children have the agonizing chore of disposing of them. Sorry. Not sorry.

So that divided plastic bowl I have? It’s just going to keep sitting in the cabinet where I’ll see it from time to time and remember it being on the Sunday dinner table with peas on one side, carrots on the other. It will only take a moment, but it’s my moment. So, I’m keeping it.

Amy Coward is a public relations professional in Columbia, SC. When she is not working for her clients at AC Public Relations, she is writing, running and traveling.